At my high school art fair, someone was looking at all my dark, horror-themed artwork, and said, “He’s not as good as the others, but he knows what people like to look at. He should go into advertising.” So I did. True story.
I love all the ingredients of mayonnaise, but mayonnaise itself is disgusting. Also, I think salt packets have too much salt and the pepper packets have too little pepper.
When I left Mullen to move to Pittsburgh, the CEO put his arm around me and whispered in my ear, “When you pull your head out of your ass and realize the grass is never greener, come back.” I continued to look for greener grass for 5 more years before accepting this.
I wish more people knew that everything is OK.
When I was a kid, maybe 1980 or so, I saw a man picking through the dumpster at the McDonald's on Ford St. in Lynn, MA. I thought this funny, and couldn't wait to tell my dad, a Navy vet with (bad) tattoos of our flag and a screaming bald eagle. I thought he'd find it funny, too. Instead, he grabbed me by the shoulders, shook me a little, and said, "That man is your brother. Don't you ever forget that." I haven’t.
The "tick tick tick" of 60 Minutes instantly teleports me to grade school, when that sound meant bedtime on Sunday night. The single most depressing thing of my childhood. It still brings up a feeling of dread. But Sunday nights don’t. I’m not sad about the end of the weekend. I’m not glad when it’s Friday. Every day is pretty swell, because everything is OK.
You will win bonus points with me if you use the terms “resonate” and “leverage” properly. You will win super bonus points if you don’t use them at all. Especially if you don’t utilize them.
I have very strong opinions that I will dispose of, instantly, when shown a better way.
I love commas.